


Glows' Before Bro's

by Sassycasass



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bobby invented Bobby pins, Crack, Destiel are BAMF, Everyone is on point, Everyone wears makeup, F/F, Humor, M/M, Random - Freeform, Sassy Bobby, Sassy Castiel, Sassy Dean, Sassy Sam, idk what this is, sassy everyone
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-31
Updated: 2016-08-31
Packaged: 2018-08-12 05:13:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7921867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sassycasass/pseuds/Sassycasass
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Between ghosts, werewolves, vampires and demons the oh-so-dysfunctional and on-point Winchesters have had their battles, but its never something that a little Kat Von D  Lock-it Concealer cant fix!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Glows' Before Bro's

**Author's Note:**

> This all started with Sam's sideburns. 
> 
> Reference pic:  
> http://solitarysluts.tumblr.com/image/149749755534

It was a dark eerie night when Dean showed up at Sam's place, but the darkness didn't stop Dean's highlight from shining to the Gods. Sam opened up the door to his dorm and laughed a dark airy sound, "I know you would show up when I heard about new Jeffree Star Beauty Killer palette." 

"You know me well, Sammy. It's not hard to believe when we both know those pigments are richer than Bill Gates." Came his older brother Dean's voice. "So are you gonna come with me to steal one before the release date? I can't wait that long."

"I guess, but I have to go tell Jessica." Sam turned turned to the left and Dean recoiled with a gasp. Sam's contour had figuratively cut him with how sharp it was. 

Sam intensified his gaze in a challenging way. "I call it the Sam Winchester contour. Because no one else can pull it off."

"I can't argue there."

***

Sam opened the trunk of the impala and furrowed his fleek brows. 

"Where's all the equipment?" He asked. 

"It's right there. All this makeup will equip me for a damn long time."

"I mean the weapons."

"My weapon is on my cheekbones, Hunty. Once those demons catch a glimpse of this highlight-" Dean gestured to his striking candlelight glow, "this baby gone radiate some angelic mega smite light send those black eyed bastards straight back to hell." 

Sam stared incredulously at his brother. "What about my weapon?" 

Deans eyes scanned his brothers face. "Hm. You can just use salt or holy water or some shit." Dean snarked. 

Sam, offended by his brother's sarcasm, shook his head. "With all that salt you ain't never gone see a ghost again." 

"Hurry up and put your damn Dollar Store, L.A. Colors, Wet 'n' wild shit in my car, Just keep it away from my Sephora bags."

"Fuck off Dean. You know I don't put that shit on my face. Jerk."

"Bitch."

***

"So where are we headed first? L.A.?"

"Not yet. We gotta go to NYC to see Bobby. He said he has something that will help us. Besides Jeffree leaves for Bora Nora in a week." 

"How do you know that?" Sam asked as Dean pulled up to an intersection. 

Dean snapped his gaze to his late ass brother. "It's called snapchat, Where have you been this past year? You're like a Grandma" 

A voice from the car next to them stopped the brothers.  
"Excuse me Sonny, I know you ain't just assumed that Grandma's ain't updated. Cause bitch let me tell you something. My ass got the iPhone 8 so take ya ass somewhere else. And stop stereotyping or im finna jump yo ass with my bingo bitches." 

The woman brought her blunt to her mouth and inhaled. She made eye contact with Dean and blew the smoke towards him. "Dr. Dank told me he gonna get me some good shit tonight. Stay lit, gotta blast." And with that she sped off. 

Sam laughed loudly. "Damn Dean you got your shit sold to you." 

"Shut your cakehole before I sell you and buy the Kat Von D Serpentina palette ."

The conversation ended when Dean popped in that Lana Del Rey CD and Florida Kilos started bumping. 

*** 

Pulling up to the brass gates of the fancy house, the brothers gaped. They whistled in unison. 

"Damn. Bobby's wallet thicc as fuck." Dean concluded. 

"True."

Dean reached out the car window and pressed the buzzer. 

Bobbys voice came from the small speaker. "It's bout damn time you idgits got here. Come in" 

The gates open and the boys pull in. 

*** 

"It's good to see ya Bobby." Sam said warmly. 

"How the fuck you get this crib? You more loaded than Herby." Dean said. Straight to the point. 

"Well, it was bout 2 years ago. I was pissed off when my weave kept falling in my damn face so I was like. I need something to hold this shit back. You know I'm not bouts to get foundation in this brilliant Brazilian hair. So I uses a lil piece of wire and bent it in half and I was like. Oh shit. I just invented something. And since my ass was eager as fuck I just called it a Bobby pin. Long story short - my ass a damn billionaire."

"Come through Bobby. I know you bouta break yourself and take me to Mac." 

"Hell no. When you invent a world changing hair clip then you can go get some makeup."

"You a cold bitch." 

'Enough about my money. The Bobby pin has more than one use. And this will help you get into Jeffree's house."

"What the hell is that little piece of metal gonna do?" Dean asked with exasperation. 

"It's a lock pick you damn knob." Bobby snarked. 

"Oh."

***

Dean stealthily maneuvered towards the big gate in front of the Star house. Sam followed closely behind him. 

"Okay. Lift me up." Dean said as he grabbed onto the brass gates. 

Sam grumbled indignantly.  "I swear to God if I break a sweat and my pores get clogged with foundation and dirt I will-

"Shut up.  I'll just buy you some pore-fessional so nobody sees your Adele crater pores." Dean admonished.  

"Ha ha." Sam mocked with sarcasm.  

He hoisted Dean up so the other could swing his leg over the top of the fence and hop down. Sam climbed over the fence with ease using his long limbs as an advantage. 

The two partners in crime made their way to the front door and low key picked the lock with the Bobby pin.  They we're almost successful until they heard a voice. 

  "Freeze!  Put your hands up!"


End file.
